Ghoulash for the Ghouls (1991)

Happy Halloween!

Well, it's finally here. It didn't exactly sneak up on me, but when you have small kids and family priorities, plus work to think about, festivities sometimes take a back seat. We put up some fall decorations indoors, but didn't get out all the ones specifically for Halloween. I'll assemble our harvest figure this afternoon. With other stuff going on earlier in the week, we haven't even carved our pumpkin yet—though we plan to do so after lunch.

However, I dug out a circa 1991 cassette tape recording that my sister and I made—a radio show we wrote and performed, titled "Ghoulash for the Ghouls."

In Scene 1, Dr. Gazinta and Igor try to figure out who (or what) left a large scratch on a piece of glass in the laboratory. Igor tells the doctor that perhaps The Brain did it. This turns out to be a red herring, though, because later—after the pair search the entire house—Igor finally admits to seeing the doctor himself accidentally scratch the glass.

Scene 2 is a sound-effect-heavy description of a woman's terrifying experiences inside a haunted house—though with an unexpectedly happy ending.

Scene 3 is an episode of "Freaky Family Game Show," a Double Dare-type game hosted by a character who sounds like Dracula, and with The Bride and The Mummy as featured contestants.

In Scene 4, The Wolfman observes Dr. Jekyll drinking a potion and transforming into Mr. Hyde. But somehow, this is less of a plot point than the fact that The Brain (the same one from Scene 1?) is growing larger and larger. In a slapped-on ending, the narrator announces: "It did get bigger. And soon it was big enough to conquer the whole world!" A cover version of "Monster Mash" serves as the lengthy outro.

After the recording cuts off, there is a second, though unfinished, episode of "Ghoulash for the Ghouls," written and recorded by my sister and her friend. The short skit describes the experiences of a boy alone in a haunted house. 

The first episode makes a little use of a Halloween tape titled "Horror Sounds of the Night," which I mention in this post, but most of the music and sound effects are from a later cassette, "Monster Mash Party," released by Parade Records in 1988. Here are sides 1 and 2 showing the track listings:

Most of "Monster Mash Party" was later re-released, with a few different tracks, as the 1996 cassette "Shivers! Monster Mash Party," which can be heard here:

The Three Stooges: We Want Our Mummy (1939)

When Professor Tuttle is kidnapped from the Museum of Ancient History, museum directors hire three detectives (Moe, Larry, and Curly) to track him down and retrieve a stolen mummy. While in Cairo, the detectives inadvertently stumble into the kidnappers' lair inside the tomb of King Rootin-Tootin. Despite encountering skeletons, mummies, and crocodiles, the detectives manage to outwit the thieves, rescue the professor, and find the valuable artifact. Originally released in February 1939.

The Haunted Coffin (1987)

Despite the fact that the plans fell through to film a Mummy movie with my friend, Jim, I eventually did produce one with the help of my sixth grade class. I worked on a script at school with a couple of buddies, writing it as a play. Somehow, we made a cardboard coffin and had a few props. I played the Mummy, with my sweat pants and gauze costume. My reading teacher allowed us to perform the play in class, and she videotaped it. I really wish I had asked for a copy of that video.

THE HAUNTED COFFIN
cast
The Mummy Ra-Antef Archaeologist # 1 Archaeologist # 2 Slave Owner Slaves Victims Egyptian Ghosts Background People Music Director(Sound Effects) Announcer
(Before play begins, play "mummy"music.)

Scene One: Slaves are sitting around a pool, looking into it.

SLAVE OWNER (enter at left): Get to work!
The background people spread out and eventually go backstage. The slaves start pulling the coffin out of the pool. They pull it out and sit it upright. The two archaeologists enter and inspect the coffin and try to get it open. They leave the stage at left and come back on at left with a crowbar in their hands.
ARCH 1: You and you, get over here! Help us open the sarcophagus.

Two of the slaves take the crowbar and start to pry the coffin open. The door swings open, and the air fills with the vile stench of rotting flesh.
ARCH 2: UHHH! Get the Lysol!
ARCH 1: Did YOU bring it?

ARCH 2: I thought you were going to bring it!

ARCH 1: Let's go!
The two archaeologists close the coffin slightly. Then they leave. All of the slaves and other people gather around the rotting coffin. One of the slaves opens the coffin and takes out a scroll. He wipes the dust off and reads it.
SLAVE: 'All souls empty of life
Wrapped in cloth and hid in a tomb,
Come to life when I command
To walk the lands at every moon.'
The mummy slowly opens his eyes. The other people run backstage. The slave pays no attention because he is trying to figure out the eerie rhyme of the scroll. The mummy unfolds his hands from his chest and goes up and strangles the slave.
(Close curtain. Eerie organ music, fade out.)

Scene Two: The next evening
ANNOUNCER: The next evening...
(Open curtain.)
One of the archaeologists comes to the temple. He finds the scroll. He becomes interested in the Scroll of Life. He starts reading it to himself. The mummy, once again, opens his eyes. The other archaeologist comes just in time to see the mummy strangling the other archaeologist. He pushes the mummy aside. The mummy slowly limps off the stage, unharmed. After the archaeologist helps the other one up, they both find the Scroll of Death. After they find a warning on the wall behind the pool, they both exit the stage also.
(Close curtain. Dramatic theme.)

Scene Three:
(Open curtain.)
The mummy sees a boat. He turns toward the camera and growls. He gets on the boat. Other Egyptian ghosts join him on the deck.
(Close curtain.)
ANNOUNCER: Meanwhile, back at the temple...
(Open curtain.)
The two archaeologists decide to read the Scroll of Death to kill the mummy. Just as they start to read the scroll, the Egyptian ghosts come and stop them. The ghosts disappear with the Scroll of Death. Then the mummy comes to the temple and kills the people who have betrayed his god. After that he goes for the archaeologists. Right before he gets them, an ancient Greek warrior steps out. Thunder crashes through the temple. The mummy and the warrior start to fight. One of the archaeologists tears up the Scroll of Life. (Dramatic theme.) The warrior staggers off stage and the mummy returns to his coffin and the door shuts.
(Close curtain.)

The Mummy Is Brought Back To Life (1987)

THE MUMMY IS BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE

CAST
THE MUMMY AN-TARR...PAUL
THE WOMAN/PRINCESS RA-ANTEF...PAMELA
THE ARCHAEOLOGIST KASON-ANTEE...JIM

SCENE ONE: The archaeologist looks at a coffin that he had found. With it came a scroll. The archaeologist wipes the sweat from his brow and decides to get some sleep before he reads the scroll.

SCENE TWO: That night, the archaeologist wakes up. He opens the scroll and reads it. (Show scroll.) The archaeologist shrugs his shoulders. He lights his pipe and goes to bed. (He leaves his matches on the couch.) The coffin shakes. The mummy breaks his way through the coffin. He finds the scroll. He wants to bring his beloved princess to life. So he burns the scroll as a sacrifice. He runs out of the room. The archaeologist comes back in and remembers that he had forgotten his matches. He sees what had happened to the coffin, and he runs out of the room in search of the mummy. As he goes around the corner, he comes face-to-face with the mummy. The mummy chokes him and continues the search for his princess. He finds a cottage. In it he finds a woman that he thinks is the princess. When she sees him, she faints. He catches her and carries her off.

THE END

This is a story I wrote sometime near October 1987, knowing that my friend, Jim, would be coming over to my house. Of course, I had to recruit my sister to play the female part. I intended to make this into a movie by having my dad videotape us. The above story was likely a synopsis I wrote out to show my dad what the movie was about, assuring him that we had a plan and weren't just going to waste videotape.

As I recall, Jim came over and I expected us to have enough time to make the movie. I put on white socks, white sweat pants and a white T-shirt (so that I wouldn't have to use as much bandaging), and then I had Jim help wrap gauze around my head, neck and arms. It was nearing time to bring it all before the camera, but, apparently, we had reached the time limit for Jim's visit. My dad said it was time for him to go home. As Jim left, I stood there: seemingly expressionless behind a veil of gauze; however, tears welled up in my eyes as my dream of making a Mummy movie was shattered. At least, until "The Haunted Coffin."